Working days :)
A survey at the company: "How much is 2x2?"
Department of the automated control system: 4
Accounting: depends on the currency.
Secretaries: do not offer intimacy.
Statistics department: on average 4.
Lawyers: 3 to 5.
PR department: given the sharp increase in sales over the past year...
Marketing department: we find it difficult to answer, we need to clarify...
Delivery service: 54 (25 to us, 25 to you, 4 to the cash desk).
A young manager died. He has an audience with God and asks him a question:
- God, why did you call me so soon? I have so much to do! I have my whole life ahead of me! I am only 35 years old!
And God answers:
- The celestial office has looked at your time sheets. According to them, you are already 98 years old!
Consulting agency opened an office in a village. A peasant comes to them and says:
- What should I do, my chickens are dying?
- Do you feed them?
- Yes. Wheat.
- And you salt the wheat.
A week later he comes back again:
- I salted the wheat, but it still dies.
- Do you water them?
- Yes. Water.
- And you sweeten the water.
The peasant comes to them for the third time:
- I used to salt the wheat and sweeten the water, but the chickens all died.
- Is that all? Too bad... We still have a lot more tips for you.
Once upon a time, there were mice who worked together and everyone was insulting them. So they decided to go to the owl manager for advice.
- Wise owl, help me with some advice. Everyone offends us, cats and owls. What should we do?
The owl thought and spoke:
- And you will be hedgehogs. Hedgehogs have needles and no one hurts them.
The mice were happy and ran to their workplaces. But on the way, one mouse said:
- How do we become hedgehogs?
and everyone ran back to ask the owl manager this question.
When they came running, they asked:
- Wise owl, how will we become hedgehogs?
And the owl answered:
- Guys, you're not bothering me with nonsense. I'm in the business of strategy.
Beautiful office of a successful company.
A trained and skilled sales manager meets the customer at the doorstep.
With a big smile: HELLO!!!
Look, we have this, we have that, and we have this!
The client is confused: You know, I forgot my money.
The manager, losing interest in him, sullenly says goodbye!
The client thinks about it: Can I pay you by bank transfer?
Manager: Hello again!!!
An offended customer comes in and a conversation like this follows:
Customer: you sold me a defective disc
Manager: Why did you decide that?
Buyer: it doesn't fit in the disc drive!!!
Manager: How can it not?
Buyer: I'm trying to put it in this way, both sideways and upside down, but it still doesn't fit...
Manager: Is there anything written on the floppy disk?
Buyer: it is written
Manager: So what?
Buyer: it says spare parts 250 megabytes
Manager: 🙂 what kind of drive do you have?
Buyer: 🙁 the most ordinary!!!
