\nDesigner:<\/em> Me too, but don't tell anyone I did it.<\/p>\n
\n
- Make a website with a green creature crawling from the left corner to the right, like a snail, but flexible and bending. And have a tail trailing behind it. A fat brown trail. And from the right corner, another brown creature was crawling towards it, but its trail was green.
\n- What will it symbolise?\" (I can barely contain myself, but continue to ask counter questions):
\n- This means that our customers and our contractors meet through us. You see, they will have to meet in the centre of the page!
\n- and how will the meeting take place? Do you have any preferences or ideas?
\n- YES! There will be a brown explosion across the page. The explosion turns green and slowly subsides. Out from under it crawl brown and green striped creatures. And they crawl in different directions.
\n- Maybe we shouldn't go in different directions, since everyone has the same goals, so let them move together?
\n- Mmm... you're right! THEY WILL BE ONE RED BEING! (he raised his voice, clearly inspired...) IT WILL SYMBOLISE THE UNITING OF ALL OUR IDEAS AND POWERS! And this being spins and spins like a spiral in the centre of the page. This will show the eternal movement - client - us (our ideas) - artist - - client - us (our ideas) - artist and so on
\n- But if it's constantly spinning, no one will be able to read anything on the page...
\n- And don't! But we will be remembered!!!<\/p>\n
\n
Customer. <\/em>(cheerfully) from behind the back of the First Designer:<\/em> - Please play with the fonts! A client wants to order a 6x3 metre banner. He sends a picture by mail. GIF 3x3 cm and an official application, such as...<\/em> - Did the designer who drew the logo leave you anything but this picture? We just need a vector to work with, jpg is not good enough. The designer hands over the work to the client. The client nods with satisfaction and agrees with everything:<\/em> Delivery of the layout:<\/em> \u042f:<\/em> I need your logo and guidelines so that I can design a header for your website according to your corporate identity Buyer:<\/em> Our budget is $400, but we don't need anything complicated... have you used Outlook? The designer gathered the remnants of his will:<\/em> Client:<\/em> I need one design at 4pm and another at 6pm! Client:<\/em> I don't know what I want, let's try different options with your designer! - Play with the shape of the square Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:<\/p>\n Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:Re:Fw:Re:BookletLastComments_approve1211<\/p>\n Good morning! Thank you for the layouts. The letter follows:<\/em><\/p>\n let's suspend our cooperation please don't waste your time with me anymore<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" \u041e\u043a\u043e\u043d\u0447\u0435\u043d \u043c\u0443\u0447\u0438\u0442\u0435\u043b\u044c\u043d\u044b\u0439 \u043f\u0440\u043e\u0446\u0435\u0441\u0441 \u0441\u043e\u0433\u043b\u0430\u0441\u043e\u0432\u0430\u043d\u0438\u044f: \u041a\u043b\u0438\u0435\u043d\u0442: \u0412\u0441\u0435 \u0437\u0434\u043e\u0440\u043e\u0432\u043e! \u041c\u043d\u0435 \u0432\u0441\u0435 \u043d\u0440\u0430\u0432\u0438\u0442\u0441\u044f, \u0430\u00a0\u0432\u0430\u043c \u043a\u0430\u043a? \u0414\u0438\u0437\u0430\u0439\u043d\u0435\u0440: \u041c\u043d\u0435 \u0442\u043e\u0436\u0435, \u0442\u043e\u043b\u044c\u043a\u043e \u043d\u0438\u043a\u043e\u043c\u0443 \u043d\u0435\u00a0\u0433\u043e\u0432\u043e\u0440\u0438\u0442\u0435, \u0447\u0442\u043e \u044d\u0442\u043e…<\/p>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1818,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_seopress_titles_title":"","_seopress_titles_desc":"","_seopress_robots_index":"","_seopress_robots_follow":"","_seopress_robots_imageindex":"","_seopress_robots_snippet":"","_seopress_robots_primary_cat":"","_seopress_robots_breadcrumbs":"","_seopress_robots_freeze_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_custom_modified_date":"","_seopress_robots_canonical":"","_seopress_social_fb_title":"","_seopress_social_fb_desc":"","_seopress_social_fb_img":"","_seopress_social_fb_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_fb_img_height":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_title":"","_seopress_social_twitter_desc":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img":"","_seopress_social_twitter_img_attachment_id":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_width":0,"_seopress_social_twitter_img_height":0,"_seopress_redirections_value":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled":"","_seopress_redirections_enabled_regex":"","_seopress_redirections_logged_status":"","_seopress_redirections_param":"","_seopress_redirections_type":0,"_seopress_analysis_target_kw":"","inline_featured_image":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[24],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1811","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-funny"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1811","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1811"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1811\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1824,"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1811\/revisions\/1824"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1818"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1811"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1811"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1811"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nThe first designer<\/em> (loudly, so that the second designer could hear): - Arial!
\nThe second designer:<\/em> - Yeah, I'm going to have to have a \"L\"... er... Letter Gottik!
\nThe first designer:<\/em> - Caslon! You're on the \"H\"!
\nThe second designer:<\/em> - New baskerville!
\nThe first designer:<\/em> - Azure.
\nThe second designer:<\/em> - Izhitsa!
\nThe first designer:<\/em> - The Academy again... The Academy!
\nThe second designer:<\/em> - Janus!
\nCustomer.<\/em> (quietly): - Thank you, thank you! Let's leave the font as it is...<\/p>\n
\n
\n\"Please produce...\" etc. Signature \"Deputy Director Ivanov I.I.\"
\nI write to him:<\/em>
\n\"I can't print this picture. I need another permission.\"
\nAn hour later I receive an angry letter:<\/em>
\n\"Printing of the poster is allowed! General Director Bubin A.A.\"<\/p>\n
\n
\n- No, there was a file there, but it wouldn't open, so I deleted it...<\/p>\n
\n
\n- Well, everything seems to have been decided!
\n- Great, you owe me 1500.
\nThe customer, giving the money away:<\/em> \"I hope that if we need to send it later, we can contact you, because it's not like we did it once and forgot about it, is it?\"
\n- Of course, depending on what needs to be fixed and how.
\n- Of course! I'm not going to say \"Let's redo everything\"!
\n- Sure. By the way, one more thing. Could I ask you for a little extra money later, if I suddenly run out of money or have new plans? It's nothing, I rarely need it, so I don't think it will bother you.
\n- ???
\n- Don't worry, I'm not going to come up to you and ask you to pay me again!<\/p>\n
\n
\n- It will be bad.
\n- To what extent?
\n- Very bad.
\n- How \"very\"?
\n- Fuck, how bad. This is a rare piece of shit. The defect is 100%. You can't look at it without crying.
\n- Okay, let's print.
\n- Sign the waiver of claims.
\n- Good (signs).
\nDelivery of the circulation:<\/em>
\n- (with hysterical notes in his voice) WHY didn't you tell me it would be THAT bad?<\/p>\n
\n
\nClient:<\/em> Okay, I'll fax it to you!<\/p>\n
\n
\n\u042f:<\/em> Yes, of course!
\nBuyer:<\/em> Here we need a website with the same functionality, plus a few improvements<\/p>\n
\n
\n- Do you realise that one more comment and I will kill myself? !!!!!!!
\nThe client (a completely amorphous aunt):<\/em>
\n- Stop being angry! Of course I understand everything! There will be no more comments! I have ONLY corrections left...<\/p>\n
\n
\nDesigner:<\/em> but it's 3.45pm...
\nClient:<\/em> I sent the email at 14.30. You have let us down again!!!<\/p>\n
\n
\nManager: Working with a designer costs 1500 rubles per hour.
\nClient:<\/em> You're fucking crazy! Prostitutes are cheaper!
\nManager:<\/em> There are different options with prostitutes, and you should try it!<\/p>\nOne-line comments<\/h3>\n
![\"\"](\"http:\/\/liberty.ua\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/think-sally-e1448859806879-800x445.jpg\")
<\/h3>\n
\n- Could these circles be made even rounder?
\n- I really like your idea with the nigger. Could you remove the nigger?
\n- We really like your version, it's great! It's just great. But please redo it.
\n- Use computer graphics to cheer up a boy
\n- We want a brick on the logo because it is solid and silicate.
\n- We asked you for CMYK, and you sent us EPS!
\n- I don't know what I want, I don't know what I need. But if you do, I will know right away.
\n- I listened to the music for the video with my mother-in-law. She's not into it. Make it work!
\n- My wife doesn't like blue. Neither does my secretary. Change it to something else.
\n- The orange in this layout is not positive enough. And the green doesn't look eco-friendly enough...
\n- Replace the current background colour (blue) with the colour of a clear summer sky
\n- Today it looks good! Let's see what it will look like tomorrow.
\n- I am interested in developing a business card website. It should be able to order goods, pay by credit card, register, add photos and correspond with friends.
\n- This layout is just wonderful, and the font is beautiful, the illustration fits perfectly. And the red colour is so bright! But let's remove the picture, make all the letters the same height and black, and let the background be white.
\n- You know, we really liked all the options you sent us. We don't even know what to choose... Maybe we should try to combine all three logos into one?
\n- I have the logo at my post office, let's get it from there. So write the address: xxx@mail, and in the password field, I think there were 8 stars.
\n- Well, we think it should be done in the style of dreams, because this is mainly a section for men. You go to the beach, and there are beautiful girls flying by randomly. Twenty of them. Flying, flying... And then, whoosh... and a raccoon!
\n- The terms of reference have changed slightly and instead of an image of a business centre, we need an octopus on the poster, not a nasty and slimy one, but a smart and knowledgeable one.<\/p>\n![](\"http:\/\/files.adme.ru\/files\/news\/part_21\/217905\/zavod.jpg\")
<\/p>\nLetters<\/h3>\n
\nLast night we found out in the printing house that the booklet cannot be printed from your files, because we calculated the format as A5, and you were told that it was A4. We made a mistake, could you please redo it for the LAST time?
\nSincerely yours,
\nxxxxxx, manager
\nIt's a story.<\/p>\n
\n
\nOverall, I liked them.
\nIt's quite high quality.
\nI don't like the background, the curls, and the colour blue.
\ncheck out my mockups in what colour the logo is made...
\nsee if you are not up to the task....<\/p>\n
\nThe fact is that I decided to make the design myself
\nbecause it is very difficult to convey the desired result to the designer.
\nAfter all, I spent 5 years in design, so I have a lot of experience in this field
\nif you are interested, I will send you a ready-made design layout<\/p>\n