{"id":1801,"date":"2017-02-28T11:44:19","date_gmt":"2017-02-28T09:44:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/liberty.ua?p=1801"},"modified":"2018-02-28T13:36:13","modified_gmt":"2018-02-28T11:36:13","slug":"harakterystyka-rajonov-kyeva","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/liberty.ua\/en\/library\/funny\/harakterystyka-rajonov-kyeva\/","title":{"rendered":"Characteristics of Kyiv districts"},"content":{"rendered":"

Shulyavka<\/strong>\u00a0- This is Harlem. Only here you can see a crowd of Afro-Eskimos, offering Abibas sneakers and baseball bats to honest citizens. One day, passing by Harlem, I watched a native drink vodka with bacon, which confirms the theory that whoever comes to Ukraine will immediately become a Ukrainian. Assimilation...<\/p>\n

Market near the Lybidska metro station<\/strong>\u00a0- This is China Town. It smells like carrots and dogs. There is also a suspicion that Harlem residents take sneakers for sale from here. It's better not to mess with the Chinese. Many of them know kungfu, wushu, wahoos, the hryvnia\/dollar exchange rate, the Iliyich Testament, and know the strains of bird flu.<\/p>\n

Borshchagovka<\/strong>\u00a0- The red light district. Only here you can have all your sexual fantasies satisfied for a small fee, because this is where the famous Okruzhnaya Road is located. From here, ta6ypetka, chernyj_shved and a couple of other peppers made it big in the business. The main thing is to protect yourself, because the number of tick-borne moths per square kilometre exceeds the Maximum Permissible Concentration. The Sanitary and Epidemiological Service doesn't care.<\/p>\n

Obolon<\/strong>\u00a0- Jamaica. \"All countries of the world, come together boldly, let's legalise the topic together.\" It's high time to replace the green man on the traffic lights with an equally green cannabis leaf - no one will notice the difference anyway. The area is not visible from the satellite because of the smog.<\/p>\n

Petrovka<\/strong>\u00a0- Silicon Valley. Every self-respecting company that is more or less close to IT or just technology in its business considers it its duty to set up a warehouse here, if not an office.<\/p>\n

Voskresenka<\/strong>\u00a0- Ghetto. For some reason, this particular area attracts a lot of homeless people. Parks and quiet courtyards only contribute to this.<\/p>\n

Fissure<\/strong>\u00a0- USA. The streets here are as straight as the US state borders and the twists and turns of the Native American countryside. For the most part, it is even Texas - wind in the face, sand in the teeth. The local population is almost grasping for dear life. In the absence of a gun, they use whatever comes to hand.<\/p>\n

Kreschatik<\/strong>\u00a0- The Champs Elysees. Vanity Fair. People come here to show off: The President to the people, the village to the city, the city to foreigners. And there are so many of the latter that native Kyivites hide in the suburbs. Many prefer Obolon or Troyeshchyna.<\/p>\n

Stubby<\/strong>\u00a0- Donbass. Lots of factories, inconvenient to get to. All Kyiv residents know where it is, but very few people go there of their own free will.<\/p>\n

A winegrower.<\/strong>\u00a0A broom is Canada. It can only boast of its forest. You can see it from everywhere.<\/p>\n

Hemline<\/strong>\u00a0- Venice. Lots of small cafes, lots of tourists. And there is always something murmuring somewhere - either someone is pissing around the corner or another pipe has burst. There's a lot of rubbish, because there are carnivals every day.<\/p>\n

Kharkiv<\/strong>\u00a0- Honduras. It's hot, crowded, and you can't understand a damn thing (although the signs are in Russian). The streets end either in a lake or in the middle of nowhere. I walked and walked, and it was shit, sand.<\/p>\n

Krasnozvezdny Avenue\u00a0<\/strong>- Rublevskoye Highway. A lot of cool dachas huddled next to dilapidated houses that dream of becoming a cool dacha as soon as possible. Gradually, dreams come true, and construction work does not stop here...<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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